Who is the best match for ENFJ and INFP? What is an ENFJ - INFP relationship like? Are ENFJ and INFP compatible? Here we take an in-depth look at ENFJ and INFP personality types, through the lens of a love story.

Boo Love Stories is a series that highlights relationship dynamics between personality types. We hope others’ experiences can help you to navigate your own relationships and journey to finding love.

This story is from Corritta, a 31-year old INFP, & Mea, a 30-year old ENFJ. Read on to find out more!

Their Story: The Hero (ENFJ) x The Peacemaker (INFP)

Derek: What are your personality types?

Corritta (INFP): Mine said Peacemaker - INFP.

Mea (ENFJ): I got Hero - ENFJ

Derek: That's cool. Theoretically, you guys are a very compatible pairing. How long have you guys been together?

Corritta (INFP): We’ve been married for 3 years. Our back story is very interesting. We know each other since high school, but we never really knew each other. We just knew of each other. We were kind of, sort of, friends, but not really. We just kept in touch over the years randomly. I graduated high school in 2007 and she in 2008. We would randomly talk to one another throughout the years. Just like, “Oh, hey! How are you?” and “Oh, I’m great.” For a couple of years and it was like that from 2007 until 2016.

I moved across the country from San Diego to LA and was just trying to start my life over again somewhat. By then, I was divorced. She was in Ohio, which is where we're from, we just started talking one day in 2016 and never stopped.

The Dating Phase: How Did It Evolve From Friends to a Relationship?

Corritta (INFP): It was about to be her birthday and we talked about her coming to California and then it was magic after.

Mea (ENFJ): Yeah, I came to visit in May 2016. We hung out for 3 or 4 days. I didn’t want to leave, and she didn’t want me to leave, so after that, I came back the next month for my birthday. We just had so much in common, in life, long term, what we want to do, and our goals.

Derek: How so?

Corritta (INFP): We talked about kids and how we just always wanted kids. It is so funny and ironic when we talk about what we wanted and what we wanted the names of our kids to be. We chose the same names.

Derek: Interesting, What did you end up calling your child?

Corritta (INFP): Oh, it was for the girl. We both really loved the name, Leila. However, we actually ended up having a boy.

Derek: Have you guys come out at that point yet?

Corritta (INFP): Yeah.

Derek: Which point had you guys come out? In high school or sometime after high school and between 2016?

Corritta (INFP): For me, it was right when I started college, so around 2008.

Mea (ENFJ): I don’t remember, but it would have been 7 or 8 years for me at that point.

Derek: So, both around college right after you guys first met and then parted ways, you guys both found out you were lesbians.

Corritta (INFP): Mmhm. Yes.

Derek: So it all started, I guess, when you invited Mea to California? How did you guys bring up the question of being together?

Corritta (INFP): That didn’t happen until later when she came out in May, June, and July. I said, “Hey, you should move out here” because I had bought a house then. I told her that she should move out here and that she wouldn’t have to worry about where to stay. That we can figure it out as we go and even though we weren’t officially together, I just threw it out there and she said yes.

Derek: Nice.

Corritta (INFP): I don't even remember how it happened. It was kind of just like “Oh, we're together now.”

Derek: I’m surprised that as the introverted person in the relationship, it was you who made the first move towards Mea, the extrovert.

Corritta (INFP): That is an interesting dynamic.

Mea (ENFJ): I never thought about that.

Corritta (INFP): I never thought about that either.

Derek: Would you consider yourself an introvert?

Corritta (INFP): Oh, absolutely.

Derek: And Mea, would you consider yourself an extrovert?

Mea (ENFJ): People say that, but I don’t feel that way.

Corritta (INFP): I think you’re right in the middle. It's difficult. I’m very clearly an introvert, but I think you're more either way.

Derek: I have thought that that was interesting because it's usually the extroverts initiating, but you guys are crushing that stereotype.

Corritta (INFP): Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that. I think we had a conversation and it was kind of a weird transition after she moved here. There wasn’t an ultimatum like if we are going to be together, we are going to be together or if we’re not, we’re not. We just knew that we weren’t going to be in this limbo state. So, I will say that.

Derek: Yeah, even talking with you now, I feel like you're very extroverted.

Corritta (INFP): Well, I work in HR. It is the nature of my job a little bit and I had to walk the line a little bit more only because I have to talk to people constantly for work.

Derek: You work in HR, but you've never taken the Myers Briggs test before?

Corritta (INFP): I took it a very long time ago, but I don't work in traditional HR anymore. I work in HR analytics, which means I don't necessarily have to talk to employees, which is nice.

Corritta (INFP): I guess I would have to say her thoughtfulness for everyone. Not even just me or our son, but everyone she meets. Strangers. Just absolutely everyone. It seems like everyone is drawn to her because she just has such a kind heart.

Derek: How so?

Corritta (INFP): She was a preschool teacher for a very long time, so she's very fond of kids. We live in a local area in Mexico right now and as we walk around our neighborhood she sees the kids in the neighborhood and notices how their clothes were small and the baby's diapers are heavy. So, we talked about it and she said, “Hey I want to do something for the kids in our neighborhood.” After we talked, we went out and bought toys to make sure every kid in our neighborhood had something to open for Christmas. Well not just toys, but diapers, clothes, and things like that, but for her to be cognizant of things like that and even get donations from people so we were able to get the kids what they needed and wanted.

Derek: How about you Mea? What do you love the most about Corritta or being in a relationship with Corritta?

Mea (ENFJ): This is hard because she doesn’t take compliments well. It’s the same thing for me honestly. She’s super generous, always trying to be the problem solver and helping people. She doesn’t notice she does this, but she does. She’ll be thinking of a whole master plan to make someone else's situation go away or easier.

Derek: ENFJ’s are known to be very generous and caring. Just very generous with people around them and always wanting to help out.

Derek: Would you guys say you guys have dated more introverts in the past or extroverts in the past.

Corritta (INFP): Extroverts, I would say.

Derek: I ask that because it's usually extroverts who like to be with introverts and it happens most of the time, but it's not always a hard-fast rule.

The Ups and Downs: What Has Been the Greatest Challenge?

Corritta (INFP): Since I’m so introverted, I kind of just stay to myself. If that makes sense. Well, I don’t know. It's hard to explain it.

Derek: No, I think it makes a lot of sense. INFP’s do that a lot. Sort of wanting to hide in their own world, just going back to their inner worlds.

Corritta (INFP): That's a thing for me, I'm always in my world. She says I’m always in my own world. I don't think always… maybe 75% of the time.

Mea (ENFJ): I would say 92%

Derek: Would you agree Mea? Is that the greatest challenge that you guys face, in your perspective, in your relationship?

Mea (ENFJ): Yeah, because her being in her own world is trying.

Derek: Do you mean it in the way that you want to go out and do things and she doesn't or is something else?

Mea (ENFJ): Oh no, we’re both boring. It’s just being in the present, sometimes she just zones out. She's physically there, but she's not there.

Corritta (INFP): Well, it's because my mind is constant and I need to focus. For Mea, she’s Sensitive. She’s always analyzing things. I think that's where we run into issues. Communication, maybe?

Derek: I see. She reads too much from a situation where you might not have had that meaning.

Corritta (INFP): Yes.

Derek: How do you deal with these points of tension or conflict when they arrive?

Corritta (INFP): It's a work in progress. I think for me, the way I have to constantly remind myself, “Okay, I have to be present. I have to be actively present.” I think it’s something that I have to remind myself. It’s for me to fix, no one can do that for me. I mean, that's what I work on, being in my own world, but it is difficult. Very difficult.

Derek: Why is that?

Corritta (INFP): That's the thing. I'm comfortable, it is just so much a part of who I am. I think that's why Mea loves me too because I’m always thinking, always analyzing things. As far as thinking of the big picture and coming up with plans, but I never really give myself a break from that.

Mea (ENFJ): I don't know when she's not working, I mean. I’m pretty sure she goes to sleep and she’s building houses when she sleeps.

Corritta (INFP): Yeah. I’m always constantly thinking of something. Whether it's for work or the blog. My mind is always moving 1,000,000 miles a minute. So, I try to combat that and to think, “Okay, let's do something together as a family” and then we got coloring books. So, we just started hanging out, coloring together, and talking.

Derek: That's pretty cute. Many INFPs like yourself love to draw.

Corritta (INFP): Oh, I’m terrible at drawing. I do like to color a lot though, it helps you relax.

Better Together: How Have You Grown as a Result of Your Relationship?

Corritta (INFP): That's a good question. You go first.

Mea (ENFJ): Right now, learning to not overthink things. Meditate, when I feel like I need to clear my mind and ask a thousand questions later. To have conversations between me and myself.

Derek: How about you Corritta?

Corritta (INFP): She’s forced me out a little bit. I’m still very much introverted. In the past, when I wanted to ask a question like, “Hey, how do I find our way?” I would not ask anyone. I would just be lost and figure it out along the way. Now, especially when she's not around, because she always does it when she's around, I go ahead and ask because I'm lost. I think I'm more comfortable approaching people and having conversations. I think I’ve broken out of my shell a lot more compared to how I used to be.

Mea (ENFJ): I want to chime in 2 things. I think for Corritta, as far as emotions, she is more willing to express herself. Not as much as I would like, but I feel like once we got together, it got better.

Corritta (INFP): She's like my teacher because I'm constantly learning from her. Whether it's technology or anything else in the world. I think she also changed my perspective of how I view things. For example, at a resort 2 weeks ago, we were sitting down and we were having a drink and she noticed that this little girl was trying to get attention from her mom. The mom wasn’t paying attention to her because she had a baby and you could tell how sad the little girl was. I realized that I started being able to see small things I never would've noticed before.

Derek: Just being emotionally aware of other people's feelings.

Mea (ENFJ): That's a trying thing for us because that's my thing. No matter who I’m with and where I am in the world I will pick up on your energy. I pick up on her energy and she never acknowledges that energy. That's when a million questions come up. She’s my wife and I want to know how I can help her and what I could do to make her day easier. Instead of just being open with her emotions, I’m constantly knocking. Eventually, I get in, but at that point, she’s frustrated because I asked 30,000 questions.

Derek: It’s actually one of ENFJ’s superpowers to be extremely aware of and to be able to pick up on other people's emotional states. But, you know with every personality type there's a pro and there's a con. In the good times, you feel very taken care of, but on the flip side that can also be seen as a con - being too analytical and asking too many questions. I'm sure you guys also realized this and just try to appreciate each other's generous pros.

Corritta (INFP): We try. It’s a work in progress.

Derek: What advice would you have for other couples that share your personality dynamic?

Mea (ENFJ): You have to be patient.

Derek: How so?

Mea (ENFJ): Knowing that it’s not the norm for the other person. I think that's where the conflict comes with people, they expect things from their partner that they consider the norm. But the thing is, that's not always the case. So, just being patient with love and being patient with understanding would be mine.

Corritta (INFP): I think mine would be, and I’ve been getting better at it slowly, is to step outside your comfort zone.

Personality Compatibility in LGBTQ Relationships

Derek: I also wanted to ask you guys a question, specifically about lesbian, and LGBTQ, relationships. How important do you think personality compatibility is in lesbian relationships and how often do you think it's a major factor first and foremost or do other factors come first?

Corritta (INFP): I think personality compatibility is huge. A very big deal. Especially for lesbian couples. Whether you agree or not, women tend to be a lot more emotional. To have the ability to understand another's emotions and personality, I think is extremely important for the sake of keeping or maintaining a long-term relationship.

Mea (ENFJ): I mean, that’s the ABCs of a relationship, for me. I mean, most people know what they need. When you hit a maturity level, you know what they need. I think it's just the basics. Before you can even be in love with someone, you need to know if you guys are actually going to fit well together.

Corritta (INFP): Yeah, that’s why personality and compatibility are huge. I’ve seen some people who have similar personalities as us and are terrible together.

Derek: It’s about being compatible in the right ways, but also different in the right ways as well.

Corritta (INFP): Exactly, I think that’s the biggest thing actually. That was the perfect way to put a name to it. Being different in the right ways because a lot of people think, “Oh, we’re different that's awesome!” but you’re different in all the wrong ways.

Derek: I don't want to sound ignorant because I'm a straight male, so I’m not really in the LGBTQ community. To what extent do you think lesbians have it harder to find someone whose personality compatible? Do you think there's an issue of just being less within a population and that filtering out for personal compatibility is a greater challenge?

Corritta (INFP): I think it is a challenge. I think people force it because they don’t know when they are going to meet someone else. You're kind of in this limbo. Okay, so there’s something for straight people and there’s something for gay guys, but what about lesbians? Nothing, if you think about it. I mean, there are a few out there but they aren't necessarily popular. Maybe it's because they don’t have the marketing.

Mea (ENFJ): Yeah, there is really nothing.

Corritta (INFP): Just not in the budget.

Mea (ENFJ): That’s why you try to make it work because you don't know if you're going to find somebody else or even how you’re going to find someone. Even how you can approach someone without offending them, I think is very difficult. Some people stay in relationships that aren’t great or they aren’t compatible with, but who else are you going to find?

Corritta (INFP): Kind of off-topic, but you have no idea what someone is into as far as who they would like to date. I think that's a huge thing too because being able to be comfortable with yourself will forever be a thing.

Mea (ENFJ): When you are a part of the LGBTQ, you have to think about all the other problems that could come with it. There might be family issues because they're not okay with their life and relationship or whatever it is you have to deal with. I think there are so many other things that come along with it and that also makes the relationship a little bit more complicated.

Derek: I see. When we first started, I had the impression that there are lots of gay dating apps and I guess even apps that cater toward lesbians and also LGBTQ., but it seemed like they were very celebratory of just the basic fact of just getting everyone onto the same app. Like that was the end goal. Mission accomplished. But that’s only just getting them to a Tinder level of inefficiency. Straight people complain all the time about Tinder being inefficient, but I guess lesbians just never had that luxury to complain about inefficiency if there wasn’t a platform to begin with. Our app is actually for all gender orientations, so we really hope in creating Boo, that LGBTQ and not only straight couples could have the luxury of finding people who are personality compatible and build satisfying and fulfilling long-term relationships.

Corritta (INFP): I know people that wouldn’t categorize themselves as lesbian and I think sexuality is fluid. It can change. Who knows. When you meet someone and fall in love with that one person, that's it. That’s who they want to be with. I think having something more focused on compatibility and not so much on the labels is good.

4 Lessons in Love

Thank you, Corritta and Mea, for sharing your beautiful journey of love, growth, and understanding. From your story, we've drawn out four lessons that might resonate with our readers who are navigating their own relationship waters.

Lesson 1: Compatibility runs deeper than surface interactions

Corritta and Mea's story underlines the importance of aligning on a deeper level, beyond simple everyday interactions. These two have known each other since high school, with their paths crossing sporadically before they truly connected. Yet, it was their shared values, dreams, and desires that brought them together. Whether it's about wanting children, their preferred names for a potential daughter, or their shared love for helping others, it's clear that shared life goals and values played a significant role in their bond. In any relationship, it's these foundational agreements that lead to a profound and enduring connection.

Lesson 2: Embrace and respect each other's differences

Corritta (INFP) and Mea (ENFJ) have distinct personalities, with Corritta being more introverted and often retreating into her own world, while Mea tends to be more outgoing and sensitive. Despite these differences, they've found ways to respect and work around each other's individualities. Corritta's retreat into her internal world and Mea's outgoing nature could have caused friction, but instead, they learned to navigate and respect their differences. They understand that their relationship is a constant work in progress, that communication is vital, and that they need to meet each other halfway. The lesson here is to embrace your partner's differences as they are part of what makes your relationship unique and, in doing so, you create an environment of mutual respect.

Lesson 3: Love is a journey of personal growth

Being in a relationship isn’t only about companionship or love; it's also about personal growth. Corritta and Mea's love story clearly illustrates this. Despite Corritta’s naturally introverted personality, she learned to step out of her comfort zone through Mea's influence. On the other hand, Mea has learned to be less anxious and overthink less through Corritta's calming influence. In essence, a meaningful relationship can propel us to become better versions of ourselves, challenge our limitations, and instill new perspectives, leading to significant personal growth.

Lesson 4: Love knows no labels

One very significant lesson from Corritta and Mea's love story is that love is universal and transcends labels. As two women who discovered their shared love for each other, they show us that genuine love doesn't differentiate based on gender or sexual orientation. Their story is a testament to the LGBTQ+ community and a reminder that everyone deserves to find love that resonates with them, without fear of judgment or stigma. It's also a testament to the fact that anyone can find deep, meaningful connections irrespective of their sexual orientation. Therefore, whether you identify as LGBTQ+ or not, it's crucial to support and respect all forms of love because, in the end, love is love.

Closing Remarks and Advice from Boo

The ENFJ - INFP pairing is often quoted as the most compatible match for each. It can, in fact, be an amazing relationship dynamic as Corritta and Mea point out, but they illuminate the reality that no matter how compatible your personalities are, there will always be challenges, just different challenges. But it is our hope that by pairing compatible personality types, the benefits far outweigh the challenges, and you’ll both find fulfillment and satisfaction by giving and receiving love in the ways you both prefer most.

As our first lesbian couple interview on the Boo Love Stories blog, Corritta and Mea illustrate how personality compatibility plays out beyond cis-het norms. Personality compatibility is an issue we believe has always been neglected by apps serving the LGBTQ community, and we think LGBTQs deserve better than just another Tinder for LGTBQ.

If you’re single, you can download Boo for free and embark now on your own love journey. If you have any lingering doubts about the MBTI, you can read Why the MBTI is unfairly criticized. It’s time to finally end the debate.

We wish Corritta and Mea a wonderful and lasting relationship together. If you're in a relationship and would like to share your love story, send us an email at hello@boo.world.

Curious about other love stories? You can check out these interviews as well! ENTP - INFJ Love Story // ENTJ - INFP Love Story // ISFJ - INFP Love Story // ENFJ - ISTJ Love Story // INFJ - ISTP Love Story // ENFP - INFJ Love Story // INFP - ISFP Love Story // ESFJ - ESFJ Love Story