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32 Relationship-Changing Tips For Dating an INTJ

If you're dating an INTJ, you're in for a wild ride! INTJs are intense, intelligent, and always looking for ways to improve themselves and their relationships.

This Myers-Briggs personality type is known for being strategic, disciplined, and analytical. If you're looking for someone who is always up for a challenge and can think on their feet, then an INTJ may be the perfect match for you. But keep in mind that this personality type can also be quite independent and stubborn. If you're not prepared to handle a strong-willed partner, then an INTJ may not be right for you.

In this article, we'll review 32 things you need to know if you're dating an INTJ. We'll also look at INTJ compatibility, and hear what INTJs need from their partners. Ready to see if you're a match for the Mastermind? Let's go!

Dating an INTJ

What Do You Need to Know about Dating an INTJ?

Dating an INTJ can be a deeply rewarding experience for those who appreciate a partner with a sharp, analytical mind and a strong sense of independence. As one of the rarest personality types, INTJs bring a unique blend of traits to the table that can make for an intriguing and stimulating romantic journey. They are often known for their strategic thinking, unwavering determination, and keen insights into the world around them.

If you find yourself drawn to the enigmatic charm of an INTJ, be prepared for thought-provoking conversations, a passion for learning, and an innate drive for personal growth. They value intellectual connection and authenticity, often preferring deep, meaningful interactions over superficial small talk. As you venture into the world of dating an INTJ, you'll likely discover a partner who will challenge and inspire you in ways you never thought possible, creating an enriching and memorable relationship that goes beyond the surface.

32 INTJ Dating Tips You Cannot Forget!

Whether you're in a relationship with a Mastermind or considering asking one out on a date, it's worth doing your homework before engaging with a master strategist. Here are 32 things you need to know about dating an INTJ:

1. They are extremely dedicated

INTJs will put forth tremendous amounts of time and energy into their relationships. However, they expect the same level of dedication in return. If you're dating an INTJ, then you need to know that they aren't afraid to cut things off with you if you're not giving them all that they deserve.

2. They can be intimidating

INTJs may not come off as intimidating at first, but once they really get to know you, their intense stare and harsh remarks could make you want to run for the hills.

3. They always want to further themselves

INTJs are extremely intelligent individuals who are constantly trying to better themselves. So if your INTJ wants to go on a date with you, then you can practically guarantee that it's because they think that they could learn from you in some way. Take it as a compliment!

4. They are very logical

INTJs are highly logical individuals who often have trouble understanding emotion-driven statements or ideas. This is why an argument with an INTJ can feel like talking down a wall of bricks until either one of you gives up. If you need to put your point across, make sure you're speaking objectively and using facts to back up your perspective.

5. They always set their sights on bigger things

INTJs are known for setting ridiculously high standards and taking pride in their work. This means everything from the way that they keep their home clean to how they plan out dates with you. So if an INTJ decides to go out with you, then it's safe to say that they think of you as quite the catch!

6. They are more than capable of living alone

INTJs are quintessential introverts, who prefer their own company most of the time and often feel uncomfortable when someone else is trying to help them make a decision or fix something for them. It's no surprise that they can live completely independent lives without having much difficulty adjusting.

7. You'll only ever see the best of them

INTJs are constantly striving to become better people, so you'll often see their most charming selves on dates with you. This doesn't mean that they aren't still sassy or blunt with you, but it will usually be in a cute way instead of an aggressive one.

8. They love nothing more than finding the perfect solution

INTJs don't like to do things without having all of the facts first. At least, not if they can help it! So before committing to something as important as a relationship, an INTJ is going to need to know everything there is about who they're dealing with and what they're getting into.

9. Plans are always in the making

When dating someone like an INTJ, you never have to worry about being bored or standing around doing nothing. They are constantly working on something whether it's a new business idea or just making the next move in their relationship with you.

10. Don't expect them to change for you!

INTJs are independent people who don't mind standing out from everyone else if that means that they're being true to themselves. So if an INTJ loves sci-fi movies or wants to wear pink pants, then don't expect them to change their interests and preferences because of you.

11. But they aren't afraid of commitment either

Although INTJs may be picky when it comes to relationships, they also understand the value of committing themselves fully once someone has gained their trust. So if they haven't given you the cold shoulder just yet, then that means that you're in the clear!

12. They are very private

INTJs aren't comfortable discussing personal things with just anyone, so if they seem guarded when it comes to talking about themselves or their past, don't worry. Over time they will open up and become more comfortable telling you their secrets!

13. But they'll always be honest

If an INTJ doesn't like something about you, then there is no doubt that they will tell you exactly what is on their mind. If this happens during a date, don't take it personally because INTJs need to know someone's true colors before getting too close to them.

14. They may be total dorks!

Although INTJs are logical people, their sense of humor is often way off from what anyone else might find funny. This means that when you're hanging out with them, there is a good chance that they'll say something weird or embarrassing in front of others – but don't worry because they're totally oblivious to the fact that everyone is giving them odd looks.

15. You can expect endless support!

INTJs believe in working hard towards a common goal and doing everything in their power to make sure that someone's dreams come true. So if your relationship with an INTJ becomes serious enough, then you can feel safe knowing that they will always have your back in times of need.

16. They play hard to get

Not all of the time, of course, but if you're dating an INTJ then you should keep in mind that they don't like to show their hand too soon and will hold back a bit at first before committing fully. If this is bothersome for you, it's best to leave them alone and move on.

17. They'll make decisions without letting emotions interfere

INTJs are not fans of doing things based purely on gut instinct because they see it as being illogical. Although intuition comes high on the INTJ cognitive functions stack, it's balanced by their auxiliary Extroverted Thinking (Te) that demands logic and order. So don't be surprised if your INTJ takes their time to examine every possible outcome so that they can arrive at the best conclusion. This means that once an INTJ decides something about your relationship, whether positive or negative, it's going to be a permanent decision that they won't change just because you ask them to.

18. They're not always stubborn!

Although INTJs may have a tendency to come across as being argumentative with those around them, this is not always the case and sometimes their behavior can be explained as simply as being focused on achieving a goal as quickly as possible. So even if an INTJ finds themselves frustrated by something you said or did, they'll likely apologize for their behavior soon afterward and try again from another angle.

19. But they will never settle for less than they deserve

This means that when an INTJ finds someone special in their life, then there is nothing stopping them from entering into a committed relationship with that person. So even if you're hesitant about getting involved with someone who clearly has their life together, don't worry because they probably feel strongly about you and will do what it takes to make it work.

20. They will always be there for those who matter most!

INTJs make excellent friends and partners because they are not afraid of putting in the effort necessary to achieve something great as a team. So if you end up dating an INTJ, then congratulations on winning over such a loyal and understanding person!

21. They're not as scary as they seem

Once you get to know an INTJ, you'll realise they're generally easy-going people to be around. This is because they are good at prioritizing and don't get wound up about little things that don't matter. The more you can accept your INTJ's approach to life, the quicker they will relax and you'll see their true personality shine through.

22. But don't forget how intelligent they are!

Whether INTJs realize it or not, everyone admires how much wisdom their advice can hold, whether on practical day-to-day things or more serious life topics. So if you want insight into a problem you're trying to work through, feel free to consult any INTJ who might be able to help.

23. They are extremely organized!

The next time your INTJ asks you to check something on their phone, don't be surprised if you notice that they have meticulously organized their apps into folders based on which ones are most important or convenient at the moment. This means that not only will an INTJ remember where everything is kept at all times, but they'll also have a very clear overview of their schedule which means less chance of being late for anything!

24. Their energy levels match yours!

Dating an INTJ means experiencing a unique harmony in your energy levels. Whether you're a night owl or an early bird, your INTJ partner will naturally adapt to your rhythm, ensuring that your time together is always comfortable and enjoyable. Embrace the unexpected perks that come with this synchronization, such as quality moments alone, impromptu adventures, or simply the warm and affectionate gestures that arise from being in sync with one another.

25. They'll open up when they're comfortable!

Although it might be difficult to get your INTJ partner to open up about things, if you stick around long enough they'll come around and share something personal with you eventually. So instead of trying too hard to get them to reveal how they feel in words, show them that you care by spending time with them and talking about other types of things instead.

26. They are extremely loyal!

If you find yourself in a relationship with an INTJ, then it's likely that they will never cheat on you because it's not in their personality to be unfaithful. This is because INTJs have very high standards when it comes to what kind of behaviors or characteristics they expect from people they spend time around, including themselves!

27. No matter where you go, an INTJ will always be there for you

INTJs are also surprisingly adaptable when it comes to social situations, and while they might not be the life of the party, they will happily engage in group settings to make you feel more at ease. Their ability to balance their introverted tendencies with your social needs demonstrates their dedication and love for you.

28. They aren't easily persuaded

People often contradict themselves, but for INTJs this is a rare occurrence. When dating an INTJ, persuading them to change their views without solid reasoning is a tall order. If you try to convince them of something they don't agree with and later return, hoping they've changed their mind, chances are they haven't forgotten the conversation. In fact, they might even remind you of your original request, which could be a tad frustrating.

29. They won't try to change you!

If you're a fan of spending hours browsing through fashion catalogs or going shopping for completely random things, then you should know that an INTJ partner won't try to make you do something different if it's not your thing. In fact, the only time they may bring up the topic is if they think there is something particularly beneficial about their suggestion – but even then, they won't force you to make changes if you don't want to.

30. They're not always perfectionists!

Although it may seem like an INTJ is constantly trying to find ways to improve everything under the sun, there are actually some things they don't mind being "imperfect." This is because they keep their perfectionism for the more important things in life. So if you ever catch them goofing up or screwing something up on purpose, then chances are it's just because they felt like doing so and didn't see what harm could come from making a mistake now and then.

31. They'll give you space when you need it most

Even though romantic relationships usually involve spending nearly all of your time together, especially during the first few months, an INTJ isn't likely to pull this kind of thing with their partner. So if you prefer to spend most of your time alone and don't like having people around constantly, then this personality type will certainly accommodate your needs.

32. They won't get mad at you for not understanding them!

Some people think that the best way to avoid conflict in their romantic relationships is to make sure both partners do everything the same way, think the same things, and never express viewpoints which are different from one another's. However, this is impossible when it comes to having an INTJ as a partner because their complex thoughts and convoluted theories are often difficult to make sense of. So if you're "not getting" your INTJ's train of thought even though they explained it the best way they could, don't catastrophize the situation. Chances are your INTJ is used to now being understood and won't hold it against you.

In relationships, INTJs connect best with other intellectual and intuitive types, who can appreciate their strategic and thoughtful approach. They are autonomous and independent, needing plenty of time alone with their thoughts. This might be unnerving for an extroverted partner, but it's important not to take it personally.

Our INTJ Compatibility Chart identifies ENFP, ENTP and ENTJ as the perfect allies for an INTJ. Of these, ENTJ is arguably the best match for an INTJ, making a formidable INTJ and ENTJ team who can take on the world with their invincible strategies! However, these two thinking-judging types can struggle with emotional intimacy, so they will need to work hard to bring depth to their relationship.

On the other hand, sensing and feeling types are the worst matches for an INTJ, because they perceive and approach the world in completely different ways. It can be hard to build compatibility between two personaities that have so many differences.

The 4 Things INTJs Look for in a Partner

If you're thinking about diving into a relationship with the intriguing INTJ, it's important to know what they're looking for in a partner. At Boo, we help people like you find deeper connections and compatibility based on their unique personality types, so we've done the research to find out what INTJs need from their relationships.

Join us on this enlightening journey as we reveal the essentials of an INTJ's ideal partnership, equipping you to be the companion they need, so you can build a harmonious and lasting bond with your INTJ match.

Here are the four non-negotiables that INTJs tell us they need from their loved ones:

1. Acknowledge and respect our contemplative nature

While a partner with a penchant for action and seizing the day may have its appeal, they must never impose their lifestyle upon the introspective INTJ. Our inclination to analyze information before taking action demands a partner who appreciates our need for contemplation and respects our methodical approach.

Any partner who attempts to force a "YOLO" mentality upon us or derides our thoughtfulness as paranoia or laziness is incompatible. We seek a partner who respects our intellectual proclivities and supports our strategic endeavors. There is a reason taking a quiet walk or exploring a bookshop are INTJ perfect dates – that time for reflection and deep conversations is more valuable to us than adrenaline-fuelled activities.

2. Embrace our future-oriented mindset

Dismissing an INTJ's aspirations with restrictive phrases like "that's just the way it is" is an affront to our visionary nature. INTJs excel at discerning patterns in past experiences and utilizing them to shape the future. Our minds operate akin to a grandmaster's in a game of chess.

A partner who stifles our boundless dreams with condescension is insufferable. A suitable counterpart will encourage our pursuit of possibilities and share in our intellectual exploration of the world.

3. Share our core values

INTJs will not hesitate to pose critical questions to potential partners, such as "Do you plan to have children?" or "What are your religious beliefs?" Establishing common ground on fundamental values is essential to our compatibility.

Our strong personal values govern our sense of right and wrong, and compromising them for a partner can result in an erosion of our identity. We need a partner who respects our values and celebrates our authenticity.

4. Offer unwavering support

To the uninitiated, the confident and multifaceted INTJ may appear as an epitome of perfection. However, they rarely witness the introspection, determination, and vulnerability that characterize our journey to achieve success in an extrovert-dominated world.

INTJs need more than fair-weather cheerleaders. We require partners who demonstrate unwavering loyalty throughout our quest for self-actualization, supporting us through triumphs and tribulations alike. This unconditional support is the truest expression of love for an INTJ.

While no algorithm can guarantee the discovery of a perfect partner for an INTJ, these four fundamental criteria serve as a reliable guide. Should a potential partner fulfill these requirements, they may indeed prove to be a worthy companion for the enigmatic INTJ.

Are You Ready To Date an INTJ?

INTJs are intelligent, capable people who may just be the best match for you. The key to dating an INTJ is understanding that they need their space and will likely prefer not to talk about every aspect of themselves with you all at once (although it won't hurt if you ask). If you can handle this "mystery" in your romantic partner, then go ahead – date away!

But yes, it can be difficult to date an INTJ. They're analytical and logical, which means they may not always show their emotions or feelings for you like other people do. This is because they don't believe in relying on emotion as a way of reaching decisions; instead, the INTJ relies more heavily on logic and reason. So, if you want someone who will tell you how much they love you every day (or at least text it), then this might not be your perfect match. On the flip side, if what's most important to you is intellectual stimulation over emotional support, then an INTJ could be just right!

Ready to explore more dating tips? We've got you covered, with Tips for Dating an INTP, Tips for Dating an ISTJ, Tips for Dating an ISTP, and Tips for Dating an ENTP!

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