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ESTJ Pet Peeves: Emotional Outbursts, Incompetence, and a Lack of Accountability
By Derek Lee
Want to get under an ESTJ's skin? Complain about your boss, while doing a terrible job and refusing to take accountability for the results. That will have steam blowing out of your ESTJ's ears in no time!
Known as the Executive, ESTJs are efficient and organized leaders who thrive in structured environments and prioritize control so these pet peeves can really drive them up the wall. Whether you're looking to trigger or avoid the pet peeves of the ESTJ in your life, here are seven of the most common ESTJ personality pet peeves that you need to know.
Incompetence
One morning, Alex, an ambitious ESTJ, arrived at work only to discover that their team had missed a critical deadline due to inefficient processes. ESTJs are highly efficient individuals who pride themselves on their ability to get things done. When faced with inefficiency or incompetence, their patience quickly evaporates.
This pet peeve arises from the ESTJ's Extroverted Thinking (Te) function, which drives their love for organization and streamlined procedures. To avoid triggering this pet peeve in a person, strive for efficiency and demonstrate competence in your work. If you've already frustrated an ESTJ like Alex, apologize and commit to improving your performance.
Emotional Outbursts
Alex's boss called the team in to review what went wrong with the deadline, and one of their teammates had an emotional outburst over a disagreement. Alex felt highly uncomfortable with the outward show of emotion.
While ESTJs can be empathetic, they prefer rational, objective discussions and may struggle to handle emotionally charged situations. This is because of the ESTJ's preference for logical thinking, driven by their Te function. To avoid getting on their nerves, approach sensitive topics calmly and rationally. If you've already upset an ESTJ like Alex with an emotional outburst, give them some time to process the situation and find a more composed way to address the issue.
Disorganization and Clutter
After this long day at work, Alex returned home to find their roommate had left a mess in the living room. ESTJs appreciate order and cleanliness, making disorganization and clutter a significant source of irritation. This pet peeve stems from the ESTJ's Introverted Sensing (Si) function, which values structure and predictability.
To steer clear of this ESTJ pet peeve, maintain a clean and organized environment. If you've contributed to disarray or disorganization, clean up the mess and demonstrate your commitment to keeping things tidy.
Flakiness and Inconsistency
That evening, Alex was disappointed when a friend canceled their plans at the last minute. It wasn't just that they had been looking forward to meeting up, but as an ESTJ, Alex values consistency and reliability in their relationships. When they encounter inconsistency or unreliability, their trust can be shaken.
The root of this pet peeve lies in the ESTJ's Si function, which seeks stability and predictability. To avoid this biggest pet peeve in a person, honor your commitments and be a dependable friend or colleague. If you've let an ESTJ like Alex down, apologize sincerely and make an effort to rebuild their trust.
Lack of Respect for Authority
The next day, Alex witnessed a coworker flagrantly disregarding company policies, and saying disrespectful things about their boss. ESTJs have high regard for authority and appreciate the structure that rules provide. When they encounter rule-breaking or defiance, they can become quite irritated.
This pet peeve arises from ESTJs' adherence to established norms and their Te function, which prioritizes efficiency and logic. To avoid triggering this ESTJ personality pet peeve, show respect for rules and the reasons behind them. If you've already ruffled some feathers, acknowledge your mistake and demonstrate a willingness to follow guidelines in the future.
Being Irresponsible
Reviewing a team project, Alex realized that one of their teammates had failed to complete their assigned tasks. ESTJs expect others to follow through on their commitments and take accountability for their actions. When they encounter a lack of follow-through or accountability, they become frustrated and disappointed.
This pet peeve stems from the ESTJ's Te function, which emphasizes organization and responsibility. To prevent triggering this ESTJ pet peeve, be diligent in fulfilling your obligations and take responsibility for your actions. If you've already disappointed an ESTJ like Alex, acknowledge your oversight, complete your tasks, and demonstrate your commitment to being more accountable in the future.
Illogical Thinking
At a team meeting, Alex grew impatient as a colleague was talking in circles without seeming to get to the point. Alex struggled to grasp what their colleague was trying to convey โ there didn't seem to be any rational logic linking one statement to the next. ESTJs appreciate direct, straightforward communication and can become frustrated when people beat around the bush or fail to get to the point.
The cause of this pet peeve lies in the ESTJ's preference for clear, concise communication, driven by their extroverted thinking processes. To steer clear of this ESTJ pet peeve, be direct and concise in your communication. If you've been a bit too vague or evasive, adjust your approach and get to the point when discussing issues with an ESTJ like Alex.
Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
If you're looking to improve your relationship with an ESTJ in any area of your life, from the workplace to friendships and even romantic connections, the best advice is to be respectful and honest. By recognizing these pet peeves and learning to navigate them with a sense of humor and understanding, we can foster deeper connections and appreciation for the unique strengths and qualities of the ESTJ personality type.
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